Develop an attitude of gratitude – fantastic expression. Who would have thought that I’d learn such a vital life lesson from a mug in Japan?! Although I don’t deny ones most profound moments can come from the most seemingly inconspicuous scenarios – I have read some poignant poems scrawled on the cubicle walls in local fancy lavatories. Most of them just say something along the lines of “Becky wants to bang” (I’ll keep that in mind for a cold winter’s night, Becky…. puuuurrrr)
ATTITUDE SEEKER HERE – ***wanted!*** Friends! Companions! Comrades! Cats!
Those with an epic accumulation of wonderful attitude, sign up!!! But not just any old wonderful attitude – the type that I would appreciate, that complements my personality, my attitude, my thoughts. You don’t know the type I appreciate? That’s rude of you. Gosh. You have bad attitude. I have bad attitude for saying that, you say? That’s bad attitude to say that. Or is it bad attitude to say you have bad attitude for saying that I have bad attitude when I say you have bad attitude? I want great attitude around me. Inspirational, engaging, switched on, positive, infectious attitude. I don’t want people who are superficially so hap they wanna crap 24/7, nooooo, but the ones who are secure at the core – aiming for optimistic thoughts. This is what affects my life, brings out the best in me.
Attitude is a learned tendency to evaluate things in a certain way, which in turn can affect our behaviour. The evaluations can be of people, issues, objects and events. We all have explicit attitudes which we are fully aware of, preach and actively shape. We also have implicit attitudes which are unconscious. Both of these have a direct influence on our behaviours and beliefs. One contribution to attitude formation and change is by observing those around us. Thus, those we spend time with can be very significant.
I read a fantastic concept a few years ago that has stuck with me – it said you can designate people in your life as either a radiator or a drain. Their presence radiates energy for you or drains it away. Although reductionist, it is a great indicator of how people affect you, even if they’re your friend, your lover, or your relative. It can be a material or an emotional investment. These ties are how things get sneaky! Your loyalty and your wellbeing can be in a tournament without even realising it. Sometimes it’s down to the expectations we project onto people that cause the disorientation.
It’s hard to control and at times hard to grasp that some people are just not good for you. Even if you love them, loathe them, love to loathe them, are in awe of them, are tickled by their eccentricities or turned on by their tiny toe. Someone’s bad influence on you could be a sudden BY GEORGE I’VE SUSSED IT realisation, or a slow burner. If their world is currently a world of darkness and evil and their attitude close to snot, if you give a monkey about the person then your soul has the potential to rot with them.
There are those whose possessions or their achievements bedazzle your view. There are those who draw you in because their strengths are where you struggle, are what make you tick. Their ways may seem exotic to you, infectious, extreme. It could be quiet disarray, depressiveness, a subtlety in their pessimism and defeatist, sad, sorrow sighs that suuuuuucks the zest from you. They aren’t doing any of this to you, for you, at you, but what you take from it is what you take.
WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN THOSE WHO SURROUND YOU?
WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER APPEALING ATTITUDE?
We are locked into experiencing the world only through our eyes. It’s a darn shame that it isn’t possible to buy a day ticket to step into the skin of another. I’d try and test my friends. (Yeah that’s right, Petunia, pal of mine, I saw what you did last Wednesday! You fold your toilet paper three times before wiping? Then you smear your fun zone with scented lotion? Everytime?! I’m envious of your discipline.) Although we only experience our own consciousness, the way we experience isn’t set in concrete. It isn’t fixed and unchanging.
Petunia also enjoys disturbing toilet roll covers like this… oh Petal, you are a secret weirdo aren’t you!?
A first meeting, a first impression. Is this enough to know when someone is a radiator or drain? We evaluate the physical. Males may direct their attention to the fleshy anatomies of ladies, eyes to their bustling bosoms – size is like thaaat, shape is like thiiis, how easy will they be to deflate to put in the car boot? Women may chec the pec situation in a man – are they puffed and primed to perfection? A little wax smeared on the plastic to make them shimmer in the sun? I don’t seriously suggest that men look at women as if they are inflatable sex dolls and ladies ogle at men to compare them to Barbie’s beau, no no. But everyone’s eye is drawn to a particular feature, be it collarbones, lips, waist, or even someone’s little toe. These people are especially lucky during summer time when flip flops prevail and that tiny toe can come out to play. During colder times it can be much more awkward to request “I’m terribly sorry to bother you, could you expose your toe with immediacy?”
WOE! A meme about a toe!
We move onto taking what we can to suss out the persona. You’re just about to make an acquaintance. The person is likely to say something along the lines of “hello” or “nice to meet you”. The deliverance of this utterance is crucial. It could be what someone says – our intestines may twist uneasily if someone said “nice to meet you I’m going to eat your cat” in the same breath – but much more of it comes down to their manner. Body language, expression, posture, shapes your sense of their attitude.
Dude no.1: embraces you, beaming, firmly shaking your hand, looking in your eye, exclaiming “Nice to meet you!” with appropriate enthusiasm.
Dude no.2: No offerings of a hand to shake, looking around disinterestedly at all surroundings as opposed to at your face, stifles a yawn and mutters “Nice to meet you” with a jerk of the head to somewhat acknowledge the moment.
What impressions do you form of these two people? What effect do they have on you, are you that bothered? Person one may be a top G in your eyes, or an overconfident topcat. Person two may be a stroppy bastard who you tell to suck a fuck under your breath, or they may seem enticing and mysterious. Are you enthralled? It’s a case by case situation to who you connect with or don’t.
First impressions don’t always hold true, which makes for excellent reminiscing in later days and chuckling about terrible first thoughts. Or on the contrary – somebody sparked warmth in your excitable loins in the first two minutes of meeting, yet slowly caused your desires to go down the shitter with their unforgivable opinions on TV shows such as Arthur. WHO COULD HATE ARTHUR? ONLY A BEAST! But still – we can’t fully trust our first impressions to be the buffer of attitude, energy, radiators or drains. Not always.
I’m not sure I could ever trust someone who hated Arthur. ❤ Sweet Arthur ❤
There are a LOT of people on the planet, the tellybox tells me. We are surrounded by many people in our own lives. Those we can’t avoid – family members who you share a bathroom with, ‘borrowing’ their fancy hairbrush and returning to the scene of the crime hours later to remove every tangle of hair from the bristles, petrified at getting caught. It could be work colleagues you converse with by the coffee machine, anxiety pouring down on you that they will hold you there to detail in a drone tone their weekend spent at Aunt Booboo’s smelly bungaloo. There are those whose corner shops you frequent, so to become a regular and receive a special wink to imply it’s comical that you always buy the same brand bog roll. One just knows what suits best, ok?!
Second bog roll reference. Things are going down the shitter for sure.
We have those who fall under the next category, ones we decide to spend time with. There is many a meme on the internet that follows a similar format – a picture of two people running into the sea holding hands as the caption informs you “friends are the family you choose.” Isn’t that wonderful? So many people on the planet, so that must mean so many pals to choose from! Just like pick and mix! Who to choose, which to choose? I fancy someone, something a little tangy, a little sugary, a little sassy on the tongue! I’ll pick that one there… have to rummage briefly to find the little shovel, take a big scoop, why not! Treat yourself! Open up the paper bag and tip in the treats. Tasty tasty. Ew, this one tastes shit! Spit it out!
The happiest pick n mix here… holy fuck.
Such simplicity makes my nostrils flare, but of course that’s the essence of a meme – one tasty skittle and not the entire rainbow. Can’t digest them all in one go. Real life is a little more convoluted then a meme would happily admit to. Lucky I’m not in charge of making them, can you imagine what they’d look like? There’d be a skittle epidemic! We can choose our friends, we can choose our acquaintances. But other times situation places people in the same sphere, events push the days forward and people close together. Shared experiences, akin interests, identifiable connections to past and present, future wants. We form bonds. People plant their seed in your mind, take root in your stomach; their stalks grow up your spine.
Just because someone is a good person, or nice to you in some way does not mean they are good for you. Just because someone is decent does not mean you should welcome their ways and thoughts to infiltrate your core and stir your energies. If you’re a sensitive fucker like I am then you will know how it feels to be so closely attuned to the atmosphere created by those close to you, you are sensitive to their level of comfort, their outlook, their tendencies to be pessimistic or optimistic, their joys, their fears, their focuses. Some cannot, or have not yet shifted the lens slightly to see that perspective of life is occasionally just a mindset. I would this consider an important skill to have, to be able to see past your own immediate situation. I would welcome this kind of thinker.
WOOOOAAAAAAAAAH!
This should not be read as a message to blame others for the effect that they may have on you. Absolutely not! Blame is never the aim of my game. I am trying to express my gradual enlightenment to how complex it can be to understand when someone is a positive stimulus for another. It doesn’t always correlate to the “goodies” and “baddies” of childhood thought. People aren’t generally knights or demons. Those who you care for the most could be the most draining of all, yet we filter out this awareness with the loyalty we want to give, the love and memories and happiness they have caused us at times.
One must hold responsibility for one’s own disposition, and the way to do this is to try to develop as much self-awareness as possible to what you are susceptible to. To who brings out the best in you as you grow. This way, one doesn’t blindly consent to any influence from a temperament, naïve to the impact someone is having on you. Identifying your own tendencies is imperative, and the way I strengthen this is by trying to expose myself to as many kinds of people as possible. Not like that, you filthy minded animal!! By meeting people from all walks of life I can appreciate that people are not totally to blame for how I feel about myself. I can measure the types of attitudes that allow me to be my best cup of tea, and consequently try to radiate energy for others rather than cause it to wash down the shower drain along with the clumps of matted hair.
So I conclude! Do as the mug dictates to do! Be switched on about people, and yourself! Reply to my advert, I’m in need of as many radiators as possible! I like the warmth.
Life of Pap 